Betrayal is a universal affliction. Trust your instincts when you meet people in life they say! But most of the time we are wrong since everyone betrays us. There isn’t any person, in our so many years of life, who hasn’t let us down.
Be it our own siblings, parents, spouses or children.
Whether it’s a question of money, relationships, sex or any other, everyone seems extremely motivated and self centered in their own approach. They all ask for their pound of flesh and snatch it if they don’t get it by any means, scrupulous or unscrupulous.
Sibling rivalry begins very early in life. When the second child is born, the first feels left out and hates the new born. Therein lies the seeds of later animosity. Then as they grow up the feeling of utter contempt for each other grows side by side. The thorn in the flesh comes about when the spoils of the dead parents or relatives has to be shared.
Parents can become too imposing or deriding to the children. This leads to terrible betrayal symptoms. Often the leanings towards the more amicable child lends the others the baton to beat them with. Betrayal happens when either of them overstays with one, more than the other. Or, even when after having the wherewithal, the parents refuse to support them in their career or life. They bring in the religion or social ostracism that may follow if divorced or separation happens. Parents can be very sarcastic and critical about such social behavior. They believe that their position in their community will get hampered by such thought processes of their children.
Spouses are almost the greatest contributors towards the betrayal graph. The relationship is always lopsided. The sexual relationship more so. You can see the cracks appearing sooner than you can imagine. Marriages are supposed to be made in heaven they say but the torturous life makes it hellish for both. It’s always about give and take and never about give. Love is never the main thread. It’s more about responsibility and shunning it. Petty quarrels take a nasty turn. If you remove the fanciful garnish from the fights, then there is no valid reason remaining there for a prolonged fight. It’s about personalities and sometimes it’s about suppression. There isn’t any free time for either to sit and relax and bask in a great relationship. First it’s about sex, then about children, then education, then money, finances, expenses, habits, ego and just some useless stuff that their animosity begins with. Looking outside begins right at the first fissure. Bonding happens but the wear and tear is simultaneous. Talks about separation, divorce and legal action are common in almost every household. It’s only ignorance or fear which holds back the breakage.
Children are the greatest contributors towards this betrayal. Once they grow up, things around attract them so much. External world influences their thought process.
Comparisons are root cause too. Responsibilities are a bane. They want freedom and far removed from any kind of tie ups or binds in any relationships. They tend to move away. The temptations around are too much to refuse. Drinks, drugs or sex plays an important role in their lives. They are not keen on anyone regulating them. Parties, orgies, etc. make them shun any kinds of bondages. Fast money attracts, big salaries, big breaks and bigger perks have no place for any sacrifices in life. The urge to move ahead and faster makes it tougher to the younger generation to accept stability or equanimity. Always running after success these folks don’t ever want to be tied down.
Do we ever find peace in our world? Can we aim for tranquility and calmness? Is it possible to search for that utopian situation where everyone lives happily ever after? Or is it only an illusion for everyone to fall into?
So in all of the above the two words which stand out are detachment and dispassion. Knowing that there is no happiness anywhere, can we not try harder to become dispassionate? Doing that which comes our way only. Without much desires which anyway never get fulfilled, can we not work without any so called desires and wants?
Can we not be hoping or wanting idealistic relationships? Can we just let the other person be? Can we just give and not demand in any relationship? It would be more fulfilling if we were to just be compassionate, kind and loving. Friction is a part and parcel of life. So can we not lubricate our life with the grease of acceptance and oil of love? Seeing God in everything and everyone, let’s have the same love towards all.
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