Get out of my house! Why do you suffer if someone dear insults you or tell you the above? What do you expect the gutter to spew? Gutter and drainage water or purified water? If the dear ones are used to meanness can you expect them to be godly or speak nicely to you?
Reading an article stating the deterioration of relationships in the family worldwide between parents and their grown up children and about the loss of filial love. The old parents are not cared for by the young children and they expect the government to have old age homes to care for them. The younger generation is more involved in caring for their own selves or bothered about their own brood.
Why do all these issues crop up in the first place? Sadly every government develops a program for family oneness and love amongst themselves. It fails miserably since love doesn’t exist amongst human beings even if they are their nearest kith and kin. So what is the idea of telling someone to take care of their older parents, when there is no love.
Dependency happens because of multiple reasons. First is the extent of pampering that has happened in the past to their young ones. When the parents goes out of the way to provide for their child. Sometimes even selling themselves or doing extreme sacrifices. The reason for that to happen is due to the extreme attachment for their blood relative.
Attachment to your own brood is the cause of this misery. Knowing fully well that there is no such thing, a human being feels that they have someone to look up to. Maybe the spouse or their children. Extreme dependency also creates this problem. Having spoon fed the child, letting go of it is extremely tough. It’s important to allow the grown up person to find his or her identity. To let go to fend for themselves. They will then understand the value of life. To earn and live for themselves. Haven’t you too wanted freedom of expression and felt claustrophobic and cloistered if you were suppressed by some old parent? Parents are used to riling their kids and forcing them to do what they really don’t want to do. This kind of suppression will find an outlet at a much later point in time. They will be put to a greater suffering due to their unaccommodative nature. Parents should guard against such suppressive behavior.
It was also mentioned in the article that you should never misbehave with your parents or ill treat them in front of your own children. No doubt this is the worst kind of lesson you can ever give the future generation, since when your time arrives they too shall treat you in the same way.
But times have changed. Today the moral decency or family values may not exist. We are in Kaliyuga and the need of the hour is greed and lust. No one belongs to you and neither do you belong to anyone. It’s a dog eat dog world and no one is exempt.
So understand that nothing is yours, including your own body or your body relatives. We are all made up of 5 elements and there is no material difference between us. The universe owns the elements and nothing is yours to keep so how can you own anything at all? So stop showing ownership of anything at all.
Secondly stop expecting others to take care of you or you taking care of others. Since there are no expectations from anyone, then if you get support you won’t exult and you won’t feel bad is someone doesn’t care for you.
So start with the premise that nothing belongs to you and vice versa. Everyone is a traveller here and you may get to have their company for sometime in life. Any object coming out of your body is not your child, which includes the gunk and poop too. So stop owning stuff. God owns everything and you are just someone who uses the facilities. So don’t try to rob Him of His ownership. Be eternally grateful for the life you have been given and use these facilities with care and don’t misuse them.
So stop expecting anyone to care for you in old age or the government building old age homes. You should make your own provisions or stop thinking about why others are not doing things for you.
Lastly if you wish to have a solution for your old age take up vanprasthashram. Or going to the jungle like olden times. The spiritual are free and live everyday of their life. They don’t bother about tomorrow since they live like birds. Only God is their dependency. This is not a practical advice but spiritual. So do what you must.
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