What is the root cause of jealousy or envy? Desire!
When you were small, were you jealous of your best friend for having wonderful toys, which you could never own? They were extremely rich folks and they could afford the latest stuff and toys from every part of the world they visited during their vacations.
For you to visit Disney Land or Disney World was just a pipe dream but you friend could visit it so many times. You always felt so much wanting and desiring for such stuff and every time she showed off her possessions, you turned green with envy or red with rage. Why couldn’t god give you all those goodies, you wondered? You were deprived off even the silliest of the stuffs! You were always very angry of that god in heaven. You wanted to get even with your friend. But you were never given the chance.
Life was always very unfair to you. You were always given the hand me downs of your elder sister.
Even today when you are a well settled mother of two, you still feel the same. Your sister in law stays at LA and you stay in one of the lousiest of the places. Her kids go to some of the swankiest of the institutions and her husband works for a very dynamic IT company. He will soon become a multimillionaire since his company has given him share options. He already is but your husband is struggling to work for an accounting firm. No doubt he has his own chauffeur driven car and all that, yet he still earns in local currency and not in dollars. Your envy knows no bounds.
The children study well and sometimes they do well in life, getting accolades and medals in their institutions,get called by other great institutions for honoring them too. Later, they may land up with great jobs too. This becomes another topic of meanness, jealousy and slanderous talk.
So why does a human being envy another, hate another, have contempt and deliberate their fall in the mind? Or have the greatest self pity and wallow in grief and feel terribly disowned by god in this material life?
This feeling comes about only because of the desire to have something. If there are no desires then what can affect you?
The desire to settle down in life makes one seek for security, money, spouse, kids, house, etc.. The intensity of that desire will rule how hard you seek it. Think about it this way- only when you put your heart and soul and seek from the universe, will it grant you that says the prophet Rumi. So isn’t it your intensity of desire that makes the thing stand in front of you?
So you have a great desire and then the universe says that it cannot grant you that, what happens? Anger comes in and you feel deprived. You think that it is your birthright to have and own that object. Someone denying you that which you desire the most creates that intense feeling of hatred and envy. You get very disturbed and angry for not having it.
So the only way in which you can not get angry is to cut at the root of the problem. Which means you have to be desire less. It’s easier said than done- to be without desires.
Then at least you can be realistic and think that you can wait to have that object of your desire once you get eligible for it. But you will have to work hard for making it happen.
So to get something you deeply desire, you have to have a grand plan to own it. So start with a plan and work hard to achieve it, meanwhile have absolute focus. The envy should drive you towards the goal of having it. Once you have a focus and plan and once you are working hard in that direction, achievement will be there. Success will follow. This is the mantra for the materially minded person.
But for spiritual, turn all your deepest desire for The Lord alone and then you will not be angry and you will not be disturbed.
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