Kali Ma’s Daguerreotype

In the month of Dec 2009, I started going along with my Master to the Satsang’s he gave to his newest students on the Bhagvad Gita. During one such visits it so happened that my Master was expounding on Lord’s potencies and was describing Kali Ma at Dakishneswar. He spoke about Ramakrishnaji and his experience of Kali Ma. While he was describing her, this student was able to experience one of the aspect of this Goddess which my Master had just described. Likewise, I was going mad crazy within myself.

My heart was burning like a fire. I felt a terrible burning and craving to see Kali Ma. Crying profusely, I felt like a child who has lost her dearest toy. I did not know how I managed to sit listening to my master while being in this state at the same time. After he finished the exposition and we left to head home, I asked him a question – why is that I was not able to see Kali Ma when I crave for her so much and I always want her to be with me? He did not answer anything to me at that time.

A few days passed by and one Friday evening while I was sitting with my Master and creating a page for him on Facebook, I was searching for a picture from my recent Kolkata trip. I had opened a picture of the Krsna which I had sneakily shot (which you aren’t allowed to) inside the temple. I noticed a strange thing had happened when I clicked this photo.

My Master had been showing me around various temples inside Dakishneswar and telling me the stories about each of the God’s and how they came to be established there by Rani Rashmoni. At that time I was so fascinated with the story I heard about this Krsna and Ramlala that I wanted to take a picture of them to be with me forever. I asked my Master if I could take a picture of them, he smiled and said it was ok and that I could go ahead. Since no one was around, I sneakily clicked pictures of them, and when I was about to take the picture of Kali Ma’s idol, the security guard came in and looked at me angrily. I immediately put my camera in my bag and went away without offending him any further. At that time my Master said that I cannot take Kali Ma’s picture. Though I was saddened by this, I was happy that I had atleast been able to take a picture of Krsna.

Now coming back, I had opened this picture of Krsna which I had shot at Dakishneswar and was trying to crop the image to fit the size for my page. My master was seated beside me. I was glaring at this picture for a while and told him I do not understand why the face of Ramakrishnji in the picture is glaring back while that of Sharada Ma’s is not.

He asked me to look at it more closely and in the next moment, I was dumb struck and felt tears rolling down my cheeks profusely with no words to describe my joy at what I’d captured! I could see Kali Ma’s face had appeared instead of Ramakrishnaji. She had fulfilled her promise of being with me all the time! As I sat there at a loss for words, my Master then said to me, “Look, your Kali Ma is with you all the time uh? You wanted to take her picture and here she is, appearing on her own for you.” This is only possible with the grace of my Master. Without him I can never experience God. The Guru is the doorway to God. If you have Kali Ma’s grace, I am sure you too will be able to see her in the picture posted above.

With the grace of my Master I have been able to pen this most wonderful experience in a string of words. Thank you for reading and do watch out for my next write-up about how my friend handed over to me her photo of Krsna which was due to come to me.