You knew then that there are no Supermen or Harry Potters. These are unreal characters and creation of some wild imagination. You compared it to all your religious or mythological heroes and concluded that all the stuff dished out to you was not real. Your logical mind could never accept it.
Then you started reading stuff which made you wonder if there were really such supernatural beings on earth.
Your answers were no where to be found. You went to places where you thought answers could come from. You so much wanted to believe in some god or the other. You wished that the god that all these people talked about could be seen or heard. But there were no signs.
Then certain changes came about. You could say fate or destiny. Your best friend fell sick and it was an impossible case. There were no chances of recovery. You turned to everything possible from best doctors to astrologers. Nothing worked. Then you turned to god and prayed hard. Your friend started to recover. You started believing in some god. You offered prayers and other offerings. You went very often to pray. You became a believer. Now you no longer think that there are myths. Your myth has become real. God exists you say. Just on the basis of one recovery?
The truth is hard to find. Your faith is dependent on one stray incident. So do you see, you will only believe if something good happens to you? Otherwise?
So for you god is a milch cow. Your giver and provider. Someone who does good stuff to you. What a silly way of believing in someone!
So tomorrow if everything bad starts happening to you, then your faith will be off rails?
Your belief has no basis. Isn’t your belief just like a small kid? Whoever offers me some goodies is my well-wisher whereas others are my enemies!
What kind of skewed logic is that? You know which side your bread is buttered. Your relationship with god is based only on fulfillment of your baser needs. What a hypocrite!!!
No one has seen god, heard or experienced him in real world. So just based on one off experience you believe in him! You believe he gives you food, clothing and shelter too! Then what if he doesn’t give? What will you do?
Thanksgiving and Christmas or other celebrations are all based on how much you enjoy and not on some faith. You get to eat, drink, enjoy, put up decorations, have people around you and that’s what you call god? Even your Santa is unreal. No one like Santa exists which you are sure of. Yet your make believe world brings that spirit to life. You dish out that same to your kids.
Isn’t it important to know why the heck you are doing all this? Who is Santa? Who is god? Why should you believe in him only when he gives? Why are these transactional relationships with some god?
No one has ever told you the truth. What is the truth then? Don’t you wish you knew it instead of clutching to straws? Your truth should be firmly established based on actual knowledge and experiences. Then you can truly have conviction when you tell your kids about god.
So first you gotta test out the truth. Not based on some random incidents.
So start with questioning and trying to find the truth! This is called the quest.
Maybe someday you will find Him! Only God Knows!
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