A slight deviation I have taken here to cover one of the most important lessons which my Master imparted through a real-time experience. It completely transformed my entire way of thinking, living, believing and trusting the so called ‘Human Beings’. During the initial days of my journey with my Master the one thing I would constantly do is to tell my Master about all the people in my world whom I held in high regard. I was in a sort of ‘honey-moon period’ whereas people were concerned.
Having been a social butterfly my entire life, I was well-recognized amongst the corporate crowd. I would go to all kinds of Industry Events, Conferences, Networking Parties, Private Elite class VIP events/social gatherings, etc. I used to be in the limelight at all gatherings given my bubbly, enthusiastic, and aggressive nature. I was known by all and everyone enjoyed my company. I would get a red-carpet welcome wherever I went and anyone who accompanied me would get free entry too. This meant a lot to my so-called bay-area friends who would ask me to go along with them to the clubs as they never had to pay a cover charge if they went with me.
Right from the vegetable vendor to the top boss of an Industry, I had contacts across all levels. I would go out of my way to help people and would use my connections to get things for others but never for myself. People would use my contacts for their own benefit and I never realized how I was being exploited by all these so called ‘friends’ in my life. I was wearing rose-tinted glasses and I believed everybody is good and did not realize that these people are not what they project. People may have ill- intentions and may hide them well.
Being extrovert and naive, I began to tell my Master about how good my friends were. This was where the fun began. Every person whom I had praised to my Master soon began to show their true colors and began to do things I’d never expect them to do. The back-stabbing began. It began with a dear friend of mine while I was living in the States leveraging one of my connections – a mentor of mine who was a very Senior Exec. She began to ignore me after she invited him over to her house. She didn’t even let me know about it. When questioned, she became defensive and began to give reasons for not inviting me and letting me know. It shattered me a little because I had gone out of my way to talk to many execs to ask for a job for her and her husband. I also learnt from my mentor that she was saying terrible things behind my back. I felt completely let down. My rose-tints shattered, I now began to experience more and more of how I had been used by each of these well-wishers.
I still remember my relatives would make use of me to drive them around and my closest friends would not make a single phone call to me as it would cost them but would always expect a call from my end. In a similar case, my relatives would make me take them to shop but never did anyone ask what was happening with me. They all gave reasons for not helping me when I needed them the most. Similarly, I knew of one of these ‘Godsmen’ who I believed in a lot. She did the same thing everyone else was doing and used me for being a driver, at her beck and call. She exploited my goodness by calling me to be her daughter. I don’t know how many shall I quote here, but this list is never ending. The truth was slowly revealed to me by my Krsna Guru.
With every individual, I began to experience a mean and ugly side to all the people. I was totally shattered and heart-broken and I cried a lot to my Guru like a child asking why all these people played with my feelings. Whatever I did, I did it from my heart only out of love for them. What right did they have to hurt someone? How can they be so heartless? For the first time I learnt to what level a human being can stoop down. A human being is full of lies and deceit and what not. The one most important lesson which my Krsna Guru embedded in my heart is that never ever to trust any ‘Human Being’ even if it is your own father, mother, etc because it does not take too long enough for them to fall down. I soon began to cut off my link in each relationship and have never looked back since.
Every single day I would run to my Guru and cry like a baby. It was the most difficult period in my life. It shattered the faith I had in anyone over a period of time. From then on I would never say anybody is good in this world. I started to remove all these people out of my life one by one. I could not accept that these same people who I believed are there for me who love me etcetera did this with me. I was not able to come to terms with it for a very long time. Acceptance was the most difficult one at that time. But my Krsna Guru who is the compassionate mother knew my pain he took me in his arms comforted me like a child and gave me strength to face the Truth in my life. He unraveled to me everyone’s crass human nature which left me completely devastated in the beginning. But his grace and love alone gave me the strength from within which made me become the ‘Iron Woman’ and to face life. I stood up with the power of lioness awakened within me to face this and more.
In one shot I cut asunder and all relationships fell on their own and from then on surrendered to my Krsna Guru who became my Everything of Everything. I experienced every relationship in Him. There is no other in my life which includes this body’s parents, relatives and friends too. Whenever someone would call and talk to me my Master would know the true intention of that individual. He would make certain remarks – oh they are calling you for this information, they are using you for their purpose, etc. But I never understood what he was saying. Only when the truly colors of these people started coming to light did I know. My master removed all these unwanted beings from my life. The lesson to take away from this is to understand that as you journey along on the path of the spiritual the experience you will get is that all the material worldly relationships you have will only lead to bondage and you’re always going to have to deal with some form of misery or painful experience. Material relationships are futile and the one thing that you should be attached to and go after is the Lord alone and know that only Krsna is the Truth. It is a lesson in detachment and to focus on that which is Truth alone.
If not for this experience I would never have understood the Truth about God and the real from the unreal. Though this experience was painful in the beginning but in the end I have experienced the sweet nectarine like bliss within my heart for my Krsna, leading to single pointed devotion to my Lord and Master of this Universe. From then on I made a firm resolution that other than Krsna I will not have anyone else in my life and I will live every moment of this life only for my Krsna. This was the beginning of these events in my Spiritual Journey. You will learn more in my future articles, of stories that are even more exciting.
With the grace of my Master I have been able to pen this most wonderful experience in a string of words. Thank you for reading and do watch out for my next write-up about ‘Experience of Shankaracharya’s teaching ’.
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