You think that you have to give things and better life to your wife, husband, children, in laws or parents first. You put them first and think that your duty is primarily to serve them first. So you deprive yourself of that happiness you deserve. You work your ass off and feed them, clothe them, give shelter, provide for their silliest of whims and fancies and always consider yourself as a third class citizen who needs to make the biggest sacrifice to call and glorify yourself as a MARTYR!
Why do you think you owe it to them? So you think it’s written in the scriptures and the society tells you so? Let me give you your scriptures back. When Dhritarastra became old and was staying with the Pandavas after the war, Vidura comes and tells him to stop taking hospitality and charity from his so called saviors. He tells him to stop being a charitable case and go away. Dhritarastra listens to him and goes away to the jungle.
Krishna also doesn’t take care of Nanda maharaj after he leaves Gokul. Jesus too never looked after His parents, Buddha moved away from His family and never bothered about his wife or kid. So what makes you think you owe it to someone else?
The society is another pain in the whatever. They make you do stuff which you wouldn’t want to do. The same people who give you all that bullshit advice to take care of your parents and so on, come for their funeral and ask for their share of property. Heartless folks. Hypocrites like them advise you so much but when it comes to giving a helping hand, they all disperse and disappear citing vaguest of the reasons. Ask them for some money and see how they scamper! So now you tell me what can you owe to this society? But out of goodness of heart, you still owe it. Grrrr!!!
In Singapore, we see very old taxi drivers driving cabs. These people live with dignity of life. They are not dependent on their children or society. They work for their livelihood and never become a burden on the society or their children.
Once you set a precedent of offering people something, they expect you to take care of them throughout. So aren’t you the one, who has made them dependent on you. I am sorry, at such times you don’t deserve sympathy but you need a kick in your ass for making someone depend on you. Let these people be. In extreme cases you can look after someone but not when they are capable of doing something with their life.
These folks would do some work if you weren’t around, right? So why make them dependent on you or you become dependent on them?
If you can provide for them, do so but otherwise you take care of yourself first.
You owe it to yourself first so keep it that way. Krishna says it in a verse in the Bhagvad Gita to understand that I live in you and any kind of self mortification or sacrifice which is done out of obstinacy is harmful to you and to me too. So stop being a jerk and understand that first you owe it to yourself. Be good to yourself, then when you have some left give it to others. But not at the cost of the God in you.
Now know that you are dispensable and if you weren’t there, then wouldn’t the world go around? Wouldn’t the one whom you think you owe your life, live without you fending for themselves. So stop being a martyr and be nice to yourself first.
Empower the God within you.
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