Man uses his own yardstick to make judgements on everything. Man sees value in a thing only when it has caught his attention. Only when something affects you, will it be a part of your universe.
The aircraft getting lost in some ocean was a news which never affected you much. Since no harm came to you or to your near and dear one, it didn’t bother you much. It was just some news item. But if your child was on that plane, can you understand the amount of pain it would have caused you?
Everyday we hear about some accident or the other but it doesn’t affect us so we have least caring attitude for all these incidents. Our attitude is very selfish. We see only when we are affected, not otherwise.
Someone suffering from cancer or some other deadly disease would never trouble us since we do not know about it. Now imagine your parent is suffering from it, then you will be worrying about it constantly. Only when it affects you would you bother about it.
People go hungry in some nations but it has no effect on us since we get our stomach full. But try staying hungry for one day and you will be feeling terrible. Or for the high and mighty if they do not get the champagne cooled to the right temperature, it affects them. But what do they know about some Somalian child going hungry? It doesn’t appear on their mind screen at all.
So we should empathize with others and know the others story as well to make judgement on anyone. You will stop taking sides or giving your opinions the moment you know the other part of the story. Before you judge someone think about what they are going through. You will be amazed at the understanding. Now let us take up a simple story of a husband wife in our daily life.
The girl has got married to the man with very beautiful ideas about life. She has thought of life full of happiness and bliss. A loving husband with so much of outpouring of love that one can only dream of. She is dreaming of a man who cares for her, loves her for who she is, gives her respect and takes her opinion about everything in life together. But the harsh realities hit her hard when she has someone next to her who just wants to jump in bed and satisfy his animal desires. There is no scope for foreplay or loving words. It’s all wham bam no thanks ma’am since he has married her legally. ‘She is mine to be used or misused.’ Before the first shock is over another shock is in place. She is his personal cook, sex slave, servant and also his family’s personal attendant. She is supposed to take care of his mother, father, sisters and brothers. She is supposed to go with him for social functions like an arm candy. There is no control of her own money. He tells her that they have to pay for the monthly installments and other stuff. She has to save money. But there is no problem when he buys the latest phones. He tells her it is his BASIC need. She can make do with her less expensive one with less features.
Soon she gets pregnant. Now this is the same person who never wanted to have children quickly. But now she is on the way. The lopsided story continues on till death, divorce, separation or just giving up on life or dreams!
In all of the above when does the man think of the woman? Never. He is only bothered about himself. It’s his marriage, pleasure, house, parents, company, prestige, social standing, his child, servant, money and everything else. When is it their’s together? The woman begins to compromise the fastest. She is never given the position or place in life. She is always the doormat. So when will anyone empathize?
When you see the other side of the story, you will stop making judgements. You will want to give concessions and benefits to the one who suffers. But that is the worst scenario. You are telling this person that you are making concessions to make them rise. On the contrary they will feel very much underprivileged and deprived like the beggars or homeless.
So the spiritual people are completely silent on these issues. They do not interfere in the workings of the universe. The universe has it’s own methods and knowing them they become silent, non reactive, non judgmental and only loose themselves in The Lord.
Empathize if you cannot stop yourself getting angry. Look at the other side. You should see the entire picture from above so your view is 360degrees. Up and down as well. Secondly do not point at others mistake otherwise you will be the problem person in their life.
Try telling a man that he should give his wife equal status and then you are a goner. You have made yourself a great enemy. You are pointing out his mistakes? Have you seen what you do with your wife? Are you eyeing his property?
So the best way out is to be a witness and see how best you can solve issues in the best possible way.
Empathize and then make judgements, not before! Stop making judgements and using your silly yardstick.
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